Monday, January 5, 2009

in this new year

I want my kids to play with their friends. They enjoy going to school to have someone else to talk to and interact with besides their brothers and me. When I ask if they have any friends they would like to invite over and they say no. Maybe they don't want to invite anyone over, I get that. What I don't want is for them to be like me and be afraid to talk to people. The fear of initiating a conversation with someone I don't know scares me. I've tried to "put myself out there" before and I've been slapped in the face by people who I thought were going to be friends.

I don't need the drama in my life. Though I don't like the thought of my boys not enjoying their childhood and the time we will be living here because of the way they see I act. I have yet to strike up a conversation with any of the other parents that I've seen. Though they are all standing around in groups and it is horrible intimidating to imagine myself going up to them all and introducing myself. To one person I could maybe force myself to say hi and do introductions, but more than that? It makes my poor heart race, my palms sweat and I want to run back to my bubble that is my home.

I am going to take a small step and make up some cards for Anthony and Tommy to give out to 2 or 3 friends with our address and phone number on them. I hope that will help them start talking to some friends outside of school. Tommy wants to do soccer again, so I am calling tomorrow to see when the last day for registration is because unfortunately we just don't have the money for it right now. I will do something to help my kids make some friends and not have the same anxiety issues that I deal with on a daily basis (sometimes even getting them to/from school is an ordeal for me). I will be a better parent in this aspect, even if it means a trip to the dr to get some pills.


Kathy said...

I have that feeling of anxiety sometimes. It's hard to push yourself outside your own comfort zone. :) I'm always here for ya!

meems said...

I know so much how you feel! At least you get your kids to school. I'm keeping mine home LOL. But when I did take Henry I had a hard time trying to talk with the other parents. Especially since most of them already knew each other b/c they had older kids in school already.

I don't talk to my neighbors either.

My kids are probably going to be horribly warped. I like to pretend that we actually live in the middle of nowhere and that there are no other people around.

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I think the cards are such a great idea.